Jamesy and Shayna

Jamesy: Your days of playing the waiting game are over! Or is it? How’s things? I’m glad we can finally meet face to face.

Shayna: I’m exited too, I usually don’t meet guys off the Internet so soon.

Jamesy: I'll have to admit, reading your ad at 9 in the morning is probably not the safest thing to do. It's trippy. It's confusing. In my book, I consider that fun and exciting.

Shayna: Well, I did post it in the middle of the night, so I was kinda out of it.

Jamesy: You said that you like "you" in your ad. That translates into multiple meanings. If you read your ad, you could be referring to yourself. Self confidence, and it shows. "You" could translate into "me", which is great considering I am a complete stranger on the Internets. Safe to say that you are approachable, am I right? And finally "you" could be plural as in everything and everyone. Extraverted? I can assume so. Being an English major is worth something other than a step towards teaching.

Shayna: Really? Did you really just call a librarian extroverted?

Jamesy: Well, I realize I missed on the mismatched pair of "librarian" and “extroverted" about a half hour after I sent that email. But I don't see the "extroverted librarian" as too much an anomaly.

Shayna: Well I hope you are not looking for someone who is extroverted and the life of the party.

Jamesy: No I am not.

Shayna: I listened to an interview between Terry Gross and Jason and Wes and Jason said he was always the best friend and never the boyfriend, but Wes said that in actuality he was very charming and extroverted. Ho hum.

Jamesy: Uh-huh… who’s “Wes” by the way?

Shayna: Wes Anderson, of course. You know who he is, right?

Jamesy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do.

Shayna: Well, there is nothing worse than that in my opinion. Oh and Terry kept pressing about Owen Wilson even though they were both obviously uncomfortable. I wish I was Wes Anderson's friend, you automatically get to become a movie star. I want to see the Darjeeling Limited. But it really is limited, I mean release wise.

Jamesy: I’m sure there are some theaters in the city that carry it.

Shayna: I know…

Jamesy: To follow up, I can't see myself being with someone who is extroverted and the life of the party, because after a while that personality becomes grating. I am a "sit back and watch" kind of guy. I think that these lines from Pulp Fiction sum how I feel up nicely: "Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable? That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence."

Shayna: Do you often express your feelings in movie quotes?

Jamesy: Only when they can say what I feel better than I can.

Shayna: Uh-huh.

Jamesy: …

Shayna: …

Jamesy: Well, you said you were looking for someone you can serve lemonade and rice crispies treats to. Now, I like lemonade, but I have a love-hate relationship with rice crispie treats. I used to eat them a lot in high school, buy them in boxes and cook them myself, and used to smell the wrappers when I was done with them (yes very wierd) but then one day I gave up on them. I guess I got burned out on them. But hey, one of us would be eating them.

Shayna: Hehe.

Jamesy: So, uh, what do you like to read? I don’t read much, don’t have the time, but when I do, it’s usually crime and mystery novels. I got into them after I took a course in film noir. I used to watch a lot of film noir movies but after I took the class, I got into reading the books that most films noirs are adapted from, like Double Indemnity or The Postman Always Rings Twice. At least we read literature written within the same time period.

Shayna: I hate crime and/or mystery. I watched "Breathless" which I guess is supposed to be a parody of noir films, but I think Goddard was just saying that after he realized how silly it was. I hate the word "silly". I really like to read, but only trendy post ww2 novels like "franny and Zooey". Noam Chomsky said that using the atomic bomb on Japan was the worst thing we ever did.

Jamesy: Yeah…but “silly” is an awesome word to use, it’s one of those words you can’t say seriously and without sounding silly. It’s the exact opposite of the word “moss”. You can’t say “moss” and not sound too happy or less serious.

Shayna: Well, I never thought of it that way, it’s true. But I still hate “silly”

Jamesy: Fair enough.

Shayna: Is that examining of words something you learn as an English major?

Jamesy: No. Well, yeah, I had to take a couple poetry classes, so I had to learn about all the connotations and images words create with their vowel and consonant sounds. Your writing, from what I saw, is is good, as long as you don't write abundantly in numbers or use "lolz" or "omgwtfbbq", or in all caps, you know, ways that don't make you seem like an ass. As long as I can understand what you are saying it's fine. I mean, so what if you don't like to capitalize the singular personal pronoun "I"? e.e. cummings made a career out of not capitalizing letters, why shouldn't that be your style?

Shayna: I used to like e.e. cummings a lot and then I realized I hate poetry, so so much. Even Bukowski who is my favorite writer, I hate his poetry. You say you hate trendy internet speech, but I am quite partial to "roflcopter".

Jamesy: “lollersk8s” too?

Shayna: Hahaha, yeah that one too. Lemme ask you three questions, you have to answer them honestly. What kind of food do you like? What kind of things do you like? And, what kind of people do you like?

Jamesy: Hot Pockets Italian Chicken Style, screw Jim Gaffigan…

Shayna: Hot Pockets really gross me out, I’m sorry. I do enjoy a nice Hungry Man TV dinner though. I even eat the corn.

Jamesy: People always laugh at me when I say I like Hot Pockets. They aren’t that bad. Well, more for me then. What kind of things do I like? I like anythings, nothings, and somethings...I hate everythings though.

Shayna: Cute. Good answer.

Jamesy: As for people… Well, as a person who deals with people on a daily basis, I can cop out and say people who are cool and fun and like the same things I do, tra-la-la la-la. But while that is nice, I necessarily like people who give a crap about something. Not necessarily those who are goal oriented, but those who have a passion for something. An individual, if there is such a thing anymore. Someone who can make the time go by fast, while sometimes on occasion slows it down. Basically, if I can see myself associating myself with a person for a long time, then I like them. It's also something when interacting with a person that I can't put into words quite eloquently. How do you feel about people?

Shayna: How do I feel about people? Well everyday I find myself turning more and more into Holden Caulfield.

Jamesy: You and I have something in common. I do find myself becoming increasingly annoyed with people. I don’t know what it is, I can’t put a finger on it, but it is like a cavalcade of reasons that blanket my mind in a white noise, and I feel that it will take little before I just go off. It has become a fascination with me, especially since most of my English papers where I have to create a topic of my own ended up with me spouting off about how much I hate people.

Shayna: Heh, well Jamesy, it was nice to meet you, nice conversation.

Jamesy: But you just got here…

Shayna: I know, it’s time for me to go…I got some errands to run, bye.

Jamesy: We’ll talk again soon, right? I like talking to you. You have a number I can call you?

Shayna: My phone’s disconnected, see ya.

Jamesy: Ok, we’ll talk online then, I guess.