Time flies when you're watching porn

A couple days ago, my 6 year old cousin visited my house. I used to help take care of him when his mom would go to work, and he was the sweetest kid ever, a little bit weird, as he had a habit of going over to chairs and sniffing the seats after people had gotten up, but still endearingly weird and smart. I remember running down the halls with him slapping him on his cheeks making "plop, plop, plop" sounds. It was fun. He was the quietest kid.

Zoom a couple years later to now, where I don't hang out with him as much I used to.

I go, "Hey Lemonhead!" I used to call him that because he looked like that face on the box of Lemonhead candies. "How's it goin'?"

"Okay."

He has the cutest smile. You couldn't help but smile with him.

"Well, that's good. I going to the bathroom, stay right there kiddo!"

Okay...fatty.

Now that last part did not come out until I was taking a couple steps away towards the restroom.

"What did you call me?" I thought it was funny.

"I said 'Okay fatty'"

"Why would you call me fat?" I was amused, slowly becoming confused.

"Because you are, fatso." There was that smile again.

"Aww, you're so cute!" I pinched his cheeks, and went to the bathroom.

As soon as I closed the door and went about my business, I hear little footsteps follow me.

"Fatty fat fat fat!" "Fat booty boy!"

I turned on the radio to drown him out. But then as I looked into the bathroom mirror, I was beginning to ask myself "Am I fat? No, no, no..." I sucked in my gut a bit and stood up straight. "I'm fine. What does he know anyways? He probably still eats paste. Can't blame him really, Elmer's paste smelled real delicious and minty. I'm not fat."

I walk out of the bathroom, and he's still there, waiting. "Hey, fat booty booty...fatty fatso."

I stopped and turned to him and said, "Hey, come here. J, what you are saying...your words hurt. They hurt me. Now that you have hurt me, I have to hurt you."

So I picked him up and locked him in our basement.



Not really, I just tickled him until he started drooling on himself.